carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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