they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
