Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize