i just had sex bonerless
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
