first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Randomize