why im i the only drunk person in the library?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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