yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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