I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
