Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
