Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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