me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
