Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize