the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3pm strippers are depressing
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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