Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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