actually, I'm a sock model
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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