You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize