come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
