So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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