I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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