the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
