This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
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