dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
