why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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