You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
