I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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