eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize