just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
