Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
