So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
