I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
