but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
