No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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