the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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