I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
