should my penis look like a turkey
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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