I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
