how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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