so that wasnt chicken after all
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
