Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
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