glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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