why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
