She's JV to your varsity
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
