i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
