I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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