white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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