just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
