I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Randomize
