Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
