he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick