Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
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I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
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The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."