My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
