The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
