Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
