Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
