I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
