I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
We don't watch enough power rangers
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
