McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just gift wrapped bread.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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