youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
