This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize