Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
