im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
