Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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